An email about those cute animations.

Dear Miss Edie,
Could you please remove me from your automatic cute-stuff address list.
I don't open those things because of the viruses that many of them contain, and being on the road I am not in one spot long enough to reload all of my software every month.
That is why I didn't know about the rollcall email that you sent me. My system (and many others) will automatically dump these animated messages into the trash and then they add your email address to the spammers list. The only reason I even saw today's email from you is because I had specifically marked you as "NOT spam" two days ago. If you have had problems with people not receiving important emails from you in the past, this is why. Also my name being on one of those long mailing lists at the top of this email means that I am a guaranteed victim of a virus if ANY of the people on that list gets a mail worm, this isn't a maybe, this is guaranteed. Have you had a lot of viruses in the past?
As soon as I send this email I am going to add each address in the list of this email to my spam list (except yours of course) because I know within a week or two their computers will probably be sending me a "gift" in the middle of the night.
These cutesy animations are not created for people's enjoyment, they are created as a method to "spread the word". That "word" is not a very nice word.

I don't want to be deleted from your "Hello how are you list", just take me off your "forward the cute cartoons list".
Thanks. Your syrup is great. There are some people that have never tasted real maple syrup.
See you in December.

Yer Pal,
Warren

You know, I think I will put this on the blog, so that some of my other friends will know why I may not get their emails.