Saturday, October 20, 2007

South of the Border.

South of the Border, South Carolina Edition.
We are taking Route 95 to Florida. Up until now we have been staying off of the main highways because they are so boring. Well we are in destination mode today. No sightseeing. No pretty sights. Bumpy concrete, bright sun, billboards, unmarked cruisers, trucks, truckstops, pieces of tires. In fact, we just swerved around a policeman that was trying to drag a piece of tire tread off the road that looked like it was about sixty pounds. There have been billboards for a topless cafe, a lot of billboards for video places, McDonalds, and of course, hundreds and hundreds of signs for South of the Border.
South of the Border Motels.
Pedro's Fireworks at South of the Border.
One of my favorites: A large 3D sausage on a sign: “You never sausage a place!” (South of the Border)
Signs touting what a great place (South of the Border) is for kids, and when you get within two exits there is a big one that says “Keep screaming kids! They'll stop.” My favorite.
We pulled off on Exit #1 and were in awe. Very large brightly painted cement sculptures of sombreros, animals, mexicans, flamingos, and anything else that screamed “tacky”. I would guess that Pedro had been dipping into the mushrooms before every planning session.
We parked at Pedro's Motor Lodge, which is like the old fashioned motor lodges from the thirties where every room came with it's own carport, which means that your car will probably have a cleaner, safer, more comfortable night than you and your guest will.
There was nobody around except very lethargic looking maintenance men driving around in pickup trucks.
We walked across the pedestrian bridge so that we could take pictures of the giant golf ball on a tee (The Golf of Mexico). The much larger than life size gorilla in a tight tee-shirt in front of Pedro's Tee-Shirt Shop. The front of Pedro's Fireworks store. As far as you could see, Pedro's this and Pedro's that.
I stopped to get gas, and afterwards I asked where the restrooms were. I was directed to “Pedro's Restroom Building”. Individual cinder block cells with very heavy wooden doors. All nicely painted, of course.
We drove off. That was an hour ago. We are screaming along at 80mph towards Flooureedah. Now Route 95 looks very plain and boring, but at least it looks sane. Boring and Sane. I wonder if there is a link there?


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